A Rule of Life: What It Is and How to Make One
What is a Rule of Life?
Monks living in community live by a common Rule. Benedictine monks, for instance, live by the Rule of St. Benedict. The Rule governs every element of a monk’s life: when they sleep, work, pray, and eat, as well as how they work out community issues, etc. Oblates of monasteries—lay men and women who want to participate in the spiritual richness of a monastic community without actually joining it—often receive an adapted Rule that contains some of the central elements of the original Rule that govern some elements of life—so that even while living “in the world,” the oblate can have their life structured with an ethos similar to that of a monk.
From this practice, many followers of Christ have derived the idea of having an adapted, personal Rule, called a “Rule of Life.” For the last two decades or so, it has been relatively common for Christians who have become aware of the spiritual discipline of the Church’s past and who want to structure their own discipleship with increased vigor to make a Rule.
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Why make a Rule of Life?
The purpose of making a Rule of Life is similar to why one might make a stewardship pledge to one’s church—you were going to be giving financially anyway. Still, by making a pledge to do so, you commit to a greater degree of intentionality and accountability to ensure you actually follow through on your good intentions.
The same goes for spiritual disciplines. Rather than vaguely planning to pray, fast, and read the Bible sometimes, a Rule of Life can give a definite structure to your intentions. The rule can help you remember your intentions when the world and its demands blow in a fog of forgetfulness.
This is eminently commendable and has even become quite popular in recent years, especially in Anglican and Anglican-adjacent circles. For instance, it is a cardinal feature in John Mark Comer’s new (excellent) book, Practicing the Way—he even has a website with a ‘Rule of Life’ builder!
Guidance when Making a Rule
Most resources that guide the Christian into constructing a rule of life offer some standard and perennial helpful warnings, especially needful for the over-zealous:
- A Rule of Life is best constructed and implemented in conversation with a Spiritual Director.
- A Rule should be a minimum of spiritual practice—doable even on the busiest week—not an aspirational, maximalist vision.
- Remember that breaking the Rule isn’t sin; it is merely a fault. Conversely, keeping the Rule doesn’t make you righteous; it is just a tool to lead you to Christ, who makes you righteous as his own gratuitous gift.
In addition to these standard warnings against legalism or any conception of self-made righteousness (which, given our pharisaical flesh, are always necessary warnings!), there are two additional pitfalls when it comes to a Rule of Life that it is well to be apprised of ahead of time and that some of the newly popular “Rule-building” resources seem to overlook.
How Not to Make a Rule
The first is getting too boutique about your Rule. Endemic in our late-capitalist Instagram age is the impulse to make everything tailored custom to you and then display to others just how custom it is. Apparently, you can now get custom-mix shampoos for your exact hair! This presents only a very small problem when it comes to shampoos but a larger problem when it comes to a Rule of Life.
In the first place, a Rule is a spiritual tool to conform the shape of your life to the common ancient patterns of discipleship. It is the opposite of a bespoke creation. Secondly, the danger of making a Rule according to one’s own instincts is that the blind spots left by one’s own sins disable the ability to choose the appropriate spiritual medicine. A person who struggles with habitual laziness (and who hasn’t received conviction from the Spirit yet) will be inclined to include too much “sabbath” in their Rule, for instance.
On the other hand, while a Rule should not be a bespoke creation of one’s own devising, there is a danger on the opposite side: having a Rule that is too rigid and that cannot bend with the warp and woof of 21st-century vicissitudes. A Rule needs to be helpful not only when life is going “as planned” but also when you are on vacation or when your kids all come home with strep after the second week of school. A Rule that is only “keepable” at some times and not others is too rigid. We are not monastics; we live in the world—and the world is less consistent and predictable in the day-to-day than the cloister.
So, in light of all these warnings, should one just give up on a Rule of Life entirely? By no means! As Anglicans, we already have in our hands the basis for a Rule that is neither too bespoke nor too rigid: the Book of Common Prayer.
A Common Rule
The rubrics of the Book of Common Prayer contain all the essential building blocks of a Rule of Life. As the wise Anglican priest Martin Thornton once said, “Like the Rule of St. Benedict, the Book of Common Prayer is not a list of Church services… but an ascetical system for Christian living in all of its minutiae.”
When we extract the various directions and rubrics from the BCP, gather them in the container of the Great Tradition, sift them through the sieve of practical experience, and add some “exigency options” as an additive for days when things go hay-wire, we end up with a Rule of Life like the one below. It will work for many people (though not all), and I encourage you to take it on for yourself in consultation with your spiritual director.
- I will PRAY Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer at a set time, Monday through Friday.
- Exigency Option: If, for some reason, I am prevented from praying the office at the established time, I will at least pray the appointed psalms or a Family Office with my family as soon as I am able.
- Hungry for the things of God, I will FAST from all food until 5 pm (3 pm in winter) on
- (I) Ash Wednesday and Good Friday,
- (II) All Fridays of the year
- (excluding during the 12 Days of Christmas and 50 of Easter).
- Exigency Option: If the giving or receiving of hospitality renders a fast impracticable or uncharitable, the praying of Psalms 111-117 that night shall replace it.
- I will restrict food in some way on
- (III) All Ember Days
- I will abstain from all food from Saturday midnight until after the morning Eucharist on Sunday.
- I will never consume an inordinate amount of alcohol, such as hinders the ability to pray and remain watchful. (Remembering the words of the desert Father who, when offered a third small cup of wine, replied, “Is there no devil anymore?”; The rule of “twos” should be kept: Never more than two drinks in a setting, always let there be at least two people together when you drink (i.e., not alone), and be careful of any pattern of drinking alcohol more than two days in a row.)
- In pursuit of a life of hiddenness, I will abstain from all vain usage of social media.
- I will FEAST on the Word of God by striving to spend at least 30 minutes in meditation on Holy Scripture at least once per week.
- I commit to the life-long work of the Psalter: memorization and internalization through constant recitation and singing.
- I will receive every verse of the Bible with simplicity and faith, knowing it to be God’s own Word—true and trustworthy.
- I will order my feasting at table according to the Church Year and in an atmosphere of hospitality that invites others in.
- I will EXAMINE myself in making an auricular confession to a priest at least once a year.
- I will retreat overnight at least once a year, if not quarterly.
- I will examine my life according to this rule regularly
- Knowing that humility in obedience is among the greatest virtues, I will SUBMIT to my priest and bishop in all things godly and lawful.
This Rule (with a few minor adaptations for the purposes of this article) was first printed in the St. Bernard Breviary published by Anglican Liturgy Press.
Image by Kieferpix from Getty Images, courtesy of Canva.
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