For the Procreation of Children: The First Purpose of Marriage

The first purpose of marriage is the procreation of children. This is the teaching of the Bible and the Book of Common Prayer. What’s more, children are a blessing and a joy!

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!

Psalm 127:3-5

Today, we have forgotten this truth, far too often even in the church. We don’t understand what marriage is for, and consequently, we do not marry, or we marry without any intention of having children. The result is a crisis in the church and in our broader culture; without babies, neither our churches nor our culture will long survive.

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Let us return to the scriptures and to the wisdom of our Anglican faith. Here, married couples will find clear guidance from God to make procreation a priority. Obey God’s word, make babies, and be blessed!

God’s Mandate for Procreation in Scripture

God blesses mankind with a mandate for procreation. This is the first command God gives us in scripture:

“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 1:28

This passage is sometimes called the Creation Mandate, because it was given in the creation before the fall, or the Cultural Mandate, because it teaches us to initiate a whole range of cultural activity. But we might also call it the “Multiplication Mandate!”

When we think about God’s commandments in scripture, we often think of his prohibitions, what he teaches us NOT to do. Part of what’s exciting about the Creation Mandate is that it outlines a positive vision, a set of activities that God has created us to do.

In this regard, we can compare the Creation Mandate to Jesus’ positive reframing of the Decalogue: to love God with one’s heart, soul, mind, and strength; and to love one’s neighbor as oneself. We carry out these, the greatest commandments, when we obey God’s creation mandate together with all the teachings of scripture. As Jesus says, “whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me” (John 14:21).

Procreation in Genesis 2 & 3

In addition to Genesis 1, Genesis 2 and 3 also depict the centrality of procreation to marriage. Though Genesis 2 does not discuss children, it does describe the sexual union of Adam and Eve:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

The sexual union of Adam and Eve implies procreation; only in the modern era do we miss this obvious point. Once we understand this, we can see that procreation is one of the key ways in which Eve is a “helper fit for him.” Eve is Adam’s companion, coworker, friend, lover, and, most especially, the wife with whom Adam will enact the creation mandate to “be fruitful and multiply.”

Because childbirth is so central to the marriage of Adam and Eve, it is precisely here that the fall has severe consequences. Eve is now afflicted with pain in childbirth, just as Adam is afflicted with pain in the fields (Genesis 3:16-17). Every part of the creation mandate has been affected, both the “be fruitful and multiply” and the “fill the earth and subdue it.”

Nevertheless, God continues to bless procreation, and even promises to use Eve’s offspring as part of his redemptive plan. God judges the serpent with a prophecy that points forward to Christ, what theologians call the protoevangelion, the first gospel:

I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
and you shall bruise his heel.”

Genesis 3:15

Procreation in the Book of Common Prayer

Following scripture, the Book of Common Prayer emphasizes the importance of procreation as the first purpose of marriage. The 1662 edition of the Prayer Book is characteristically direct:

…duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.

First, it was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.

Secondly, it was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ’s body.

Thirdly, it was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity.

BCP 1662, Solemnization of Matrimony

Notice that when the prayer book refers to procreation as the “first” cause of marriage, it does not mean it is the only cause. The liturgy goes on to explain that God ordains marriage for the sake of holiness, mutual society, and help.

Relocating Procreation in the 1979 Prayer Book

Today, we tend not to think of procreation as the first purpose of marriage, but rather as an optional feature of married life. The 1979 Prayer Book of The Episcopal Church reflects this perspective. It relocates procreation to the end of the list:

The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord.

BCP 1979, 423

Not only does the 1979 Prayer Book demote procreation, but it also qualifies it with the phrase, “when it is God’s will.” Yes, there are cases where married couples are not able to have children, but to qualify procreation in the marriage liturgy is to confuse the exception with the norm.

Notice also that holiness has been completely removed from the list!

The 2019 Prayer Book Restores Procreation

In its 2019 Prayer Book, the Anglican Church restored the Biblical view of procreation. As in the 1662 Prayer Book, procreation is identified as the first purpose in the list:

The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind was ordained by God: for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord; for mutual joy, and for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; to maintain purity, so that husbands and wives, with all the household of God, might serve as holy and undefiled members of the Body of Christ; and for the upbuilding of Christ’s kingdom in family, church, and society, to the praise of his holy Name.

BCP 2019, 201-202

Attentive readers will notice that the 2019 list actually includes four purposes, as follows:

1. Procreation
2. Mutual joy, help, and comfort
3. Holiness
4. Upbuilding of Christ’s kingdom

The upbuilding of Christ’s kingdom is a new addition to the list, reflecting hard-won wisdom from recent decades. We have seen firsthand that marriage is the foundational unit of family, church, and society. Stephen Noll, who chaired the committee to draft the 2019 marriage liturgy, has written on each of these purposes of marriage. You can also read Dr. Noll’s more extensive commentary on the marriage liturgy here.

The Awe and Joy of Children

When you think about it, procreation is one of the most profound things humans can do. A husband and wife participate with God in the creation of an eternal soul. In procreation, we are co-creators with God.

Psalm 139 expresses the awe of this creative process from the perspective of the child in the womb.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:13-14

Moreover, the joy of procreation is not only in the process of childbirth, but through the entire process of raising children in the faith. Consider the joy of the psalmist in describing a family at home:

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.

Psalm 128:3-4

Jesus’s Joy Over Children

It is also worth remembering that Jesus himself came into the world through the process of childbirth. God might have made him from the earth, like Adam, or from a bone, like Eve. Instead, Jesus “was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and was made man.” He was born in the usual way and raised by his mother, Mary, and (adoptive) father Joseph.

In his adult ministry, Jesus welcomed children and pointed to their faith as the model for adults who would enter the kingdom of heaven. And when his own disciples sought to prevent children from coming to him, he rebuked them:

Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.

Luke 18:15-16

Similarly, Jesus rebuked the Pharisees when they became indignant at the children’s song in the Temple.

But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read, “‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise’?”

Matthew 21:15-16

Jesus’ delight in and welcome of children is one of the reasons the church welcomes children to worship and also offers them the sacraments of baptism and, in some churches, Holy Communion.

Pastoral Advice on Procreation

The topic of procreation in marriage invites many practical questions, from married couples or those considering marriage. Each of these questions could produce an article in itself, but here are a few initial thoughts on some of the most common concerns.

Does Marriage Require an Intention to Procreate?

Yes, in general, a couple should not marry if they have no intention to procreate. This qualification does not apply to those who are past the normal age of childbirth, or to those who have known infertility. In such cases, however, these matters should be discussed beforehand, so that both parties are fully aware of the situation.

Does Infertility Invalidate a Marriage?

No, infertility does not invalidate a marriage. Infertility is a challenging circumstance in which God, for reasons known to him alone, chooses to withhold the blessing of children from a married couple. Infertility is also a principal motif in scripture, affecting Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, and in the New Testament, Zechariah and Elizabeth. Some who are infertile for a season will eventually receive a child through procreation or adoption. Others, God promises, may participate in the procreation of the people of God. As Isaiah prophesies:

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,” says the LORD.

Isaiah 54:1

Can We Use Contraception?

This is a controversial topic within Christian sexual and marital ethics. Historically, the church condemned contraception as a violation of the procreative purpose of marriage. This was the standard teaching of the patristic era, the medieval era, and the leading reformers. In the 20th century, the Roman Catholic and Protestant traditions diverged. While the Roman Catholic Church retained the traditional view, many Protestants reevaluated the issue, arguing that the scriptures do not explicitly teach on the topic. The debate often revolves around the interpretation of Onan in Genesis 38. I do not intend to take a stance either way in this limited space.

Whatever we make of the ethical question, however, the fact is that a large supermajority of married people are now making use of contraception. In this context, it is essential to emphasize that contraception is at most a valid method for family planning, not for family prevention. In other words, Christian couples should not enter marriage with the intention of permanent contraception. Or to put it positively, the first purpose of marriage is procreation!

Won’t Having Children Make Us Miserable?

No—at least not most of the time! From a sociological perspective, procreation is associated with a slight but noticeable increase in mental health and well-being. As Brad Wilcox reports in his book Get Married, parenthood provides a reduced sense of loneliness and an increased sense of meaningfulness and happiness.

Of course, this doesn’t change the fact that parenting is hard, with significant stress in the early years from nursing, diapers, teething, sleepless nights, and the demand for constant attention. Nor is procreation a silver bullet for mental health or life satisfaction. Let’s not sugarcoat it: procreation is deeply joyful, but that joy comes together with the struggle.

How Many Children Should We Have?

When it came to financial generosity for those in need, Paul wrote that each person must make his own decision concerning how much to give:

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

2 Corinthians 9:7

I would offer similar counsel on the question of how many children to have. Each married couple must consider this question for themselves, answering it in light of God’s call and their own unique circumstances. However, remember God’s clear teaching that children are a blessing. Thus, another way to phrase the question is this: “How many blessings would we like?” or “How many blessings can we handle?”

Trust in God, and he will give you grace to do far more than you could ask or imagine. Or as Paul put it in the very next verse:

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8

Image: Photo by RyanKing999, courtesy of Canva.