Called to Be a Parishioner
“Unburden yourself, Anne; just unburden yourself.” I often heard these words from my spiritual director when I was new to the Anglican tradition. Through those meetings, I discovered a way of belonging that was not dependent upon usefulness. There is something deeply profound about this counsel.
Coming from a background shaped by Christian exceptionalism—the belief that faithfulness must ultimately lead to something extraordinary—I knew how to be the “Discerning Diva,” the person who is constantly evaluating whether a church, role, or season is the right fit, but I did not know how to simply belong as a parishioner.
Sponsored
For some raised in exceptionalist cultures, belonging begins with usefulness. Usefulness begins with identifying gifts. While no task is considered too small—whether leading a ministry or taking out the trash—we can easily tie belonging to contribution. The questions posed to the faithful become:
- Am I called to something bigger?
- How can I make the greatest impact, and will it be remembered?
- Am I doing enough for God?
- Why would God give me gifts if not for something extraordinary?
The difficulty is that these questions do not sound sinful. Instead, they sound faithful. They sound like devotion. They sound like stewardship—yet they can become a burden when every season of life is evaluated according to usefulness. Often, the anticipated reward for usefulness is validation in the form of greater responsibility, increased visibility, and expanded influence.
A Sojourning Community
The beauty of Anglicanism is that whether or not we are called to Holy Orders or some other significant role, we are called to be a parishioner first.
The word parish comes from the Greek paroikia (παροικία), referring to a sojourning community or those dwelling in a place that is not their true homeland. A parish is not simply a collection of individuals who happen to attend the same church. It is a community of people learning to live together as they journey toward a common home. It is a place of being known over time.
A parishioner belongs to that community of fellow sojourners learning to live faithfully while awaiting their true home. That community becomes family through shared joys and sorrows.
That definition carries profound implications for how we live out our belonging—not through individual striving, but through humility and shared life.
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Philippians 3:20
Our heavenly citizenship calls us to live as citizens, even in exile. Citizens learn the customs, language, and habits of the kingdom to which they belong. As Christians, we learn those habits through worship, repentance, prayer, and life together in the Church.
The questions of a parishioner’s belonging are different:
- How can I live in ordinary faithfulness today and in this moment?
- How can I receive what has been given?
Ruth and Ordinary Faithfulness
In Scripture, this is exemplified in the story of Ruth—a story full of ordinary faithfulness. Naomi, her husband, and two sons left Israel to seek relief from famine. While in Moab, her sons married Moabite women, including Ruth. Naomi eventually lost her husband and sons and expected her family line to disappear. Ruth had every practical reason to remain in Moab.
As a Moabite woman, she exemplifies the role of a sojourner choosing to fully embrace Judaism. Boaz was not the first man with the opportunity to redeem the family. Yet the story turns not on dramatic spiritual achievements but on ordinary faithfulness. A widow accompanies her mother-in-law. Grain is gathered in a field. A man accepts a responsibility that would have been easier to avoid.
Boaz was not seeking significance. Ruth did not anticipate that a Moabite could be anything other than an outcast. The lineage that eventually leads to David—and ultimately to Christ—emerges through people simply responding to the responsibilities immediately before them.
Like Ruth and Boaz, God calls us to ordinary faithfulness rather than the pursuit of individual significance.
Worship, Belong, Bear Witness
The challenge of becoming a parishioner rarely feels significant. To be a parishioner is to live as an active member of the Body of Christ—one who worships, belongs, and bears witness. Parish life is gloriously ordinary, requiring a quiet kind of courage: showing up to services, praying familiar prayers, sitting in the same pew, bringing food to a parish meal, and returning the following week to do it again.
Worshiping
Worship is the embodied choice to return week after week and receive the graces offered to us—not on our terms, but as they are given through the liturgy. We do not determine the gifts; we simply receive what Christ has given. To worship is to choose to come and receive. It is an act of trust rather than endless analysis.
Belonging
Belonging is the choice to inhabit our baptismal vows. The 2019 Book of Common Prayer‘s baptismal liturgy asks us to renounce the devil, the empty promises and deadly deceits of the world, and the sinful desires that draw us from the love of God. This invites us to continually examine our consciences and return to Reconciliation. Whether expressed in the liturgy, through the sacramental life of the Church, or between people, reconciliation helps cultivate unity within a parish community. Unity is not the absence of conflict. It is not maintained by ignoring wounds or avoiding difficult truths. We cultivate it through a continual return to humility, honesty, repentance, forgiveness, and restoration. We are then exhorted to turn to Christ and asked to joyfully receive the faith and active obedience.
It is remarkable that nothing about baptismal belonging has to do with my striving but has everything to do with an embodied choice to joyfully receive Christ.
Witnessing
We confuse witness with active evangelism—there are no extra points for leading people in the sinner’s prayer. Finally, be a witness—not an influencer but a witness. An influencer draws attention to themselves, seeking some outcome or metric. The temptation is to believe we belong because of what we accomplish rather than because we have been joined to Christ in baptism. A witness points beyond themselves and is faithful despite visible results. It is easy to get into the trap that influence is the way to discern calling and the holiness of our walk.
A witness does not point to Christ in expectation of certain results. A witness remains faithful, leaving the outcome to God.
The Outcome Belongs to God
Ruth and Boaz lived the calling of a parishioner—fulfilling vows before the Lord, inhabiting the land, and bearing witness to the goodness of God in the ordinary faithfulness of these actions.
Ordinary faithfulness frees us from the need to plan a legacy. It does not ask whether our calling, testimony, or sacrifice is significant enough. Instead, ordinary faithfulness exhorts us to live in the present moment, receiving what God has given us.
Ruth did not know she would be the great-grandmother of David. Boaz did not know he would appear in the genealogy of Christ (Matthew 1:5). Parishioners do not know what God will do with their faithfulness. He simply asks us to worship, belong, and bear witness. The outcome belongs to God.
Perhaps this is what my spiritual director meant when he repeatedly told me, “Unburden yourself.” Not from responsibility. Not from faithfulness. But from the need to know where it all leads.
I now understand this unburdening as freedom—the freedom to be faithful without needing to be exceptional.
Author’s Disclaimer: Anne Chester is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. The reflections in this essay are offered for educational and informational purposes only and do not constitute psychotherapy, counseling, or professional advice.
Image: Photo by Narcisa Palici’s Images, courtesy of Canva. Digitally edited by Jacob Davis.
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