St. Joseph and the Virtues of Silence
As the husband of Mary and the earthly father of Jesus, Saint Joseph was the head of the holy family and an indispensable figure in sacred history. Yet one of the most striking qualities of Joseph in the gospels is his silence. Scripture records not one Word from his mouth, despite his twelve appearances in the gospels of Matthew and Luke.
Moreover, when we consider Joseph’s silence, we can see that this silence is closely related to his characteristic virtues of justice, obedience, and stability. In other words, Joseph’s silence actually helped him fulfill his vocation from God. Perhaps most importantly, Joseph’s example left a deep impression on Jesus, who knew when to speak and when to remain silent. Following the example of Joseph and Jesus, we too can grow in the practice of silence and its related virtues.
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Quantifying the Silence of Joseph
Joseph is a central character in 12 biblical scenes, half from the Gospel of Matthew and half from the Gospel of Luke.
Joseph’s Silence in Matthew
The first two chapters of Matthew recount the nativity of Jesus from Joseph’s perspective. It is, therefore, especially striking that Joseph never speaks. The only plausible exception is Matthew’s narrative remark, in 1:25, that Joseph “called his name Jesus.” If this counts as speech, it is the exception that proves the rule.
In every other way, Joseph acts in silence. It proceeds across at least six key scenes. Please note that the first scene features Joseph considering a “quiet” divorce from Mary, which illustrates and foreshadows Joseph’s general orientation to silence:
- Joseph learns that Mary is pregnant, and considers divorcing her quietly (Matthew 1:18-19).
- The Holy Spirit tells Joseph in a dream that Mary’s pregnancy is by the Holy Spirit, so he takes her as his wife but does not know her (Matthew 1:20-24).
- Jesus is born and named (Matthew 1:25).
- The magi visit the holy family (Matthew 2:10-12).
- Joseph is warned in a dream and leads Mary and Joseph in their flight to Egypt (Matthew 2:13-15).
- Responding to two dreams concerning the death of Herod and the succession of Archelaus, Joseph brings the holy family back to Israel and settles in Nazareth. (Matthew 2:19-23).
Joseph’s Silence in Luke
Luke’s infancy narrative foregrounds Mary rather than Joseph, yet there are still multiple scenes in which we might expect to hear Joseph speak. These include Joseph and Mary discovering a twelve-year-old Jesus in the Jerusalem Temple, the final time Joseph appears in the Biblical record. As in Matthew, we can identify roughly six scenes in which Joseph is present, but silent:
- Joseph travels with the pregnant Mary from Nazareth to Bethlehem (Luke 2:1-5).
- The birth of Jesus and the visit of the shepherds (Luke 2:6-7, 16-19)
- The circumcision and naming of Jesus (Luke 2:20)
- The presentation of Jesus in the Temple (Luke 2:22-38)
- Joseph and Mary find the boy Jesus at the Jerusalem Temple (Luke 2:41-50)
- The childhood of Jesus in Nazareth (Luke 2:39-40, 2:51-52)
The Uniqueness of Joseph’s Silence
We see the uniqueness of Joseph’s silence when we consider the number of scenes in which he appears, the active role he plays in them, and the importance of his role. This uniqueness also emerges when we consider other figures who are silent in scripture.
The most striking silent figure in the Old Testament is Abel, Cain’s brother. Abel appears briefly in Genesis 4, where his birth, work, and murder by Cain are described. His silence is also ironic, since God tells Cain, “the voice of your brother’s blood is crying to me from the ground” (Genesis 4:10). Another silent figure in Genesis is Noah’s wife, who appears throughout the flood narrative, but who remains unnamed.
Also intriguing is a figure foretold by the prophet Isaiah, a suffering servant who will suffer in silence:
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.
Isaiah 53:7
In the New Testament, the most notable character who never speaks is Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha. Lazarus never takes significant action himself, but he is acted upon in multiple scenes: first, he dies, then is raised to life by Jesus. You can compare him to Jairus’ daughter and the widow’s daughter, who also died and were raised again by Jesus, neither of whom we read as speaking.
The Virtues of Joseph’s Silence
Joseph exhibits many virtues in his leadership of the holy family. Here, I will focus on three—justice, obedience, and stability—each of which highlights the significance of Joseph’s silence.
Silence and Justice
Matthew explicitly attributes justice to Joseph and links it to his determination to make a quiet separation from Mary. The context here is Joseph’s understandable belief about Mary’s infidelity to him while they were betrothed, before they were married. A different man would have blown up in anger at the news of Mary’s pregnancy. You can imagine the choice words he might have used in that moment.
However, scripture records only Joseph’s silence, followed by his internal deliberation and his determination to make a quiet response:
Her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
Matthew 1:19
Instead of responding harshly, Joseph sought to balance the legal standard (that he not marry an unfaithful woman) with compassion and mercy (by separating from Mary without public shame). We see here that Joseph was a good practitioner of the rule that James laid down in his epistle:
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20
And of course, James must have learned this principle from none other than Joseph himself, who was his father!
Silence and Obedience
Before Joseph carried out his plan to divorce Mary, an angel appeared to him in a dream and said that the Holy Spirit had conceived the child. The first of Joseph’s four dreams, and in each case, an angel told him to redirect his plans in light of new information.
- Stay with Mary, since the baby is by the Holy Spirit (Matthew 1:20-23)
- Flee to Egypt, since Herod wishes to kill the child (Matthew 2:13-15)
- Return to Israel, since Herod has died (Matthew 2:19-21)
- Don’t return to Jerusalem, since Archelaus has succeeded Herod (Matthew 2:22-23)
Joseph’s many dreams invite comparison with Joseph, the son of Jacob, who had prophetic dreams of his own and could interpret others’ dreams. The comparison stops at the point of silence; Joseph, the son of Jacob, was so verbose that he annoyed his brothers and provoked them until they sold him into slavery!
Instead of talking about his dreams, Joseph was quick to act on them, quick to obey the Word of God. This is most dramatic in response to the second dream, in which Joseph “rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt” (Matthew 2:14). When you stop to think about it, it is amazing how adaptable Joseph was, how willing to shift his plans in light of a new direction from God.
Again, Joseph put into practice a principle that his son James would later share in his epistle:
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
James 1:22
Silence and Stability
A man’s impact and influence are determined as much by his regular habits as by his reaction to moments of crisis. In the case of Joseph, we see these habits after he returned with the holy family to Nazareth.
Without revealing any of Joseph’s speech, the gospels show that Joseph raised Jesus as a carpenter and as a devout Jew. We deduce this from the identification of Joseph and Jesus as carpenters (the Greek term, tekton, refers to a craftsman who works in wood and stone), and from the fact that they would go to Jerusalem for the Passover every year. Moreover, we learn that Joseph made a permanent home in Nazareth, since Nazareth is identified as Jesus’s hometown when he returns as an adult.
Of course, we assume that Joseph would have spoken regularly to Jesus and his other children, but the gospels are happy to leave his words in silence. One gets the sense that Joseph knew how to govern his tongue, practicing another principle articulated well by his son James:
The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
James 3:6-10
Learning from the Silence of Joseph
You don’t need to stop speaking to learn from St. Joseph. You might consider stopping speaking for a time, or in particular contexts, or on particular topics, though. Here are ways you might take up silence as a sacred discipline:
- The Feast of St. Joseph is March 19 and is almost always during Lent. Consider using silence, therefore, as a Lenten discipline.
- Observe how others use silence and speech. You might find that some people you respect don’t actually speak very much. If a person’s habits don’t align with his words, be skeptical.
- If you want an easy way to practice silence, try the Daily Office. There’s a time of designated silence before the confession in both Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer.
- Don’t practice silence because you think words are weak. Rather, practice silence because you know words are strong. Think of silence as a tool in your spiritual toolbox, like the square Joseph used to make sure his corners were flush. Just as a carpenter measures twice and cuts once, so there is wisdom in thinking twice and speaking once. Use silence to improve your speech.
- Silence facilitates prayer and the study of God’s Word. Engage these, and you will find your own plans redirected, your own ideas changed in light of new understanding. If you are ready to listen, be also ready to do.
The Silence of Jesus
Finally, remember that Jesus practiced silence, just as his adopted father did. Our Lord often went to a desolate place for a time of silence and prayer (Mark 1:35; Luke 6:12; Luke 5:16; Luke 22:39-46). As you practice silence, you might meditate on how little Jesus spoke before Pilate. In the face of injustice, there is a time to speak, and there is also a time to suffer. Finally, like Lazarus before him, Jesus also practiced silence in his tomb. However, the silent Word who once spoke the world into creation (Genesis 1:3; John 1:3) spoke once again when Jesus rose from the dead.
Image: St Joseph Statue, photo by Yandry Fernandez from Getty Images Signature, courtesy of Canva. Digitally edited by Peter Johnston.
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